While I cloaked myself in darkness, drawing into the pain and hurt, wallowing in the slop of anger, the Lord was sending His light into the tiny crevices of my heart. Words of encouragement filtered shafts of light through cracks in the bitter walls encasing my heart. The words, the hope, those standing beside me carved their way through the brick casing.
Air would fill the hole and I could breathe again. Deep breaths of the pure light of Peace beckoning me to freedom. I teetered on the brink, ready to break free until the hurt called me back to the musty, dank cell of darkness. And there I remained until the black hole trembled at the sound of His gentle words. Words delivered by one of His messengers--a lover of His Word.
The bright Light began to erode away the wall and the escape to freedom just required me to step through the opening. Bask in the Light. Pour out the darkness before Him. A darkness that could never envelope Him or scare Him away. Darkness was losing its grip on my soul.
With each step toward the Light, though, darkness would send spears filled with pain to pierce my heart and remind me of the hurt that could still well up within.
Somewhere between the pain and the Light, paper crinkled while I desperately tried to unwrap the food that would give Life and nourishment to my soul. With diligence I pursued the transparent cellophane, thin like the fragile eggshell so new around my heart. In moments, strains of music filled with worship drifted into my wounded heart and began to heal, to soothe the pierced areas. The balm of Gilead. Why had I not reached out before for songs that touch my heart so deeply? I immersed myself in the cleansing waters of praise and worship. The hurt and pain loosened its grip.
There is Hope because darkness does tremble at the Lord's voice. And the Lord will never abandon His children no matter how dark the valley or how long the trial. Words tonight from Chris Tomlin's song along with others on a combined worship CD brought peace and healing. My mind was redirected to focus on the Lord rather than my circumstances. Yes, there will be more moments of pain--some will cut deeply before this journey ends but I pray that I will choose to hold on to the Light and worship Him.
Thank you to all who have chosen to stand by me on this journey.