How did this journey of writing begin? Was it in a quiet voice whispering to my spirit? Were there gentle nudges along the way? What prompted these wonderings? Was this a direction from the Lord or just my own desire? But it couldn't be denied that these inner urges bubbling up within me were looking for a means of expression.
Was this the time? I queried others on a Christian website. The conversations there wrapped around the idea of what each reader longed to do--and what was standing in the way. My mind raced. Did I dare voice my secrets? Would I find an answer? Hesitantly, I wrote from my heart and sought guidance. The answer came. Spend time at the Lord's feet. Wait.
Then another offer came. It pointed the way in how to begin the journey of writing.
My soul was drawn in ways that seemed to have died ages ago.
I reached for books on library shelves like a hungry child would reach for a plate of food. Something to nourish the writer within. Just carrying the books held a promise of hope.
A phone call to an old friend, another link in knowing God's will. Twists and turns along the way all seemed to guide me along the path of writing. "Do your homework," she cautioned me in her gentle voice as she supplied me with volumes of resources.
I dared to satisfy my hunger for writing. Enthusiastic, yet still walking as an infant, I prayed for direction.
"Open My Ears, Lord"--and the scribbled notes became my first meal.
I visited the other sites where authors had crafted their inspirations to see what tasty delights to add to my creative meal. Amazement, awe, and--hopelessness--gnawed at my stomach.
What ever made me think I could do this?
I fell before the Lord in utter despair. "Lord, I'm not qualified to do this. I can't write like those other authors. Is this just my desire? Did you really call me?
"I know, Lord, that you give a different degree of talent to each person as you choose. But I have so little."
And I heard the Lord say in my thoughts, "And are you going to bury that talent?"
Fragments of Matthew 25:14-28 came to mind: "But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money "(18) "After a long time the master of the servants returned and settled accounts with them."(19) NIV
The master was not pleased with the servant who viewed him as harsh and had done nothing with his talent. So he took it from that servant and gave it to another.
"Okay, Lord," I said. "I will try, and You use it in any way you want."
Labels: Christian Inspiration